Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
