dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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