Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
