a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize