Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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