mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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