Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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