so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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