It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
