I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
