She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
