we have officially lost it.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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