I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
