Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
