When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
