Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
