Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
