I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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