it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
