let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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