Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize