i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
