I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
