That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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