i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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