Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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