so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
