i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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