he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He has the fingertips of a God
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