Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
