Do you still have your period?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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