He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize