So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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