Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
