The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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