Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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