She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
