wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
