I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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