You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
