Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
