It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
