Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
found the other keg... it's in the tree
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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