I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
