I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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