I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So squirting runs in the family.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
