How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize