But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
