Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
