i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The best revenge is premature balding
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
