This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
