I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
