my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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