I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
