well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
