Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize