I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize