I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
