is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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