This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
