He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
