Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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