It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
