It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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