Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize