is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize