i barfeds in our rink
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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