the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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