I hate your face
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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