You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
