He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
