I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
