he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
