Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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