No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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