God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Randomize
