dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
