We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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