no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
