i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize